I had a very bad dream the other night about three horses. One horse was laying down between two horses. The horse on the right started eating it while the horse on the left watched, at first before it to stated eating it. The horse on the right saw me and was mad because I saw what it had done and started running after me to eat me too  Deciphering the dream The horse laying down are my elderly parents and the horse on the right is my sister Nadine Heckert who murder them by over medicating them and the horse on the left is my brother Curt Heckert who stood by and did nothing about it and they both hate me for knowing what I know about them

It's next to nothing in trying to get one of my children's story publish. I'll send one of them to a publisher and they'll disappear into the black hole. I'll never see the manuscript again and I'm tired of doing that so this children is going on my blog and let a publisher come to me.
                                                         
                               This is what older me would say to little me.          

Sometimes being a little child can be really scary. When your so small  in a world of adults who are so big and tall and you don't understand them at all. You wonder why they say and do mean things to you that hurt you and make you cry. You wonder what did you do to them to make them want to hurt you. Why do they hate you so much when you couldn't hurt them if you tried. Your just a little child, just a little soul.

A Heavenly voice tells you that they don't really hate you at all and that you're really safe in your Heavenly father arms dreaming of a world that isn't real and the adults really hate themselves and if they knew what you knew   that they are the dreamer of a dream in a world that isn't real they wouldn't be so angry or be so concern about the way  of the world and that  it has no meaning, it isn't real, it's all a dream and one day we'll all wake-up from a really bad dream and realize that we never left  our heavenly home.

A Heavenly voice tells you to forgive them for the mean things that they did to hurt you  and made you cry and to tell them that you love them no matter how much they try to hurt you. You'll love them to the end and maybe they wouldn't hate themselves if they knew that someone loved them too.

My biggest fear and worries as I get older is keeping my brother Curt Heckert and his wife Denise and my sister Nadine away from me as they have no morals and are unethical. Nadine is just a monster. Curt has his own concrete business that he took over from dad and yes he's in the phone book yellow and white pages. Nadine has her own painting business so if you see either one of them run far and run fast.

The 4th of July

Finally I got back on my blog after not being able to get on it. But now I have something that I want to say.

I've known for a long time that being on SSI and SSA or being on any Government Program would generate a group of  Whistle blowers in following me around and taking pictures of me when ever I was out and about. Suspecting that I'm really a healthy 20 year old impersonating a unhealthy 60 year old just to get all of the Government benefit's that I can  and hoping to catch me as I unzipped this costume that I am wearing so that they can get a big fat reward in doing so, if so then you have witness the same thing that I have of my son-in-law abusing my Grandsons and endangering me and my Grandson by reckless driving with us in it and putting my life and my grandsons life in danger then shame on you for not doing anything about it.

For almost twenty years I lived in Stonehedge Apartment in Layton, UT. An government subsidy apartment and for years I've been hearing stories from the Layton's locals how horrible and dreadful the tenants that live in these apartments are and it went as far as a bishop got up in sacrament one sunday condemning the single females that lives in these apartment, nothing was said about the husband, boyfriend, father, son or of any males that may or may not live there when more than likely they are the ones being responsible for the single mothers being there in the first place.

Well now let me tell you what the locals of Layton are doing besides driving through the property just to see whos doing what. They could easily be mistaken for drug dealers too, it's hard too tell. But every Christmas they are discarding their Christmas waste in the one of many dumpsters that are on the property and for about a week the tenants that live there are unable to use any of them for they are full to the rim to the point of overflowing and an ugly mess is left for the tenants to deal with. But than I guess it's Okay for the Layton locals to talk about how horrible and dreadful the Stonehedge tenants are.

For almost 20 years I have lived in one of KIER's Management apartment and at least once a year they have an inspection to make sure that everything is in working orders and to make sure that the apartments are being taken care of and that the tenants are keeping the apartment clean and I get that but nobody wants to be cleaning 24/7 either. The ladies that come to do the inspection are rude, disrespectful and arrogant which is why I am not around when they come around. More than likely they have a maid (and a chef and a gardener) that comes in and cleans their house so I guess that qualifies them to tell others how to clean their's.Which is why I am apartment or house hunting. I will never again live in LIER management apartment, they are too big for their own good.

Why is it that when a person goes through the system by getting an attorney that person pays for and goes up before a judge and the judge Okays for that person to recieve S.S.I. disability that should be the end of it but it's not that person still has to deal with other people stalking them hoping to find them doing something that they don't think that they should be doing becasue they are on S.S.I disability just so that they think that they are going to get some kind of reward for reporting them when it all comes down to when those that are doing the stalking are just greedy for money to pay for their life style and not caring who they hurt by doing so. Make me wonde,r would they sell their own mother or an infant? just how far would they go just because they don't like the idea of someone getting S.S.I disability and feel theat they are getting a  free ride when they want a free ride too. My book "Portraits Of An american Family And The Illusions Of It All" has  a lot to say about this.